Quetzaltenango/Xela

Above: Marketplace in Xela where I bought all of my fruits and veggies for the week for under $15. USD. Man, it's gonna be hard to return to the states.

Above: El Mercado en Xela again. You can see the name of the city written on the city bus to the right. Two woman dressed in typical Guatemalan clothing. One carrying her wares on her head, as is customary here. They do have these handy little cushions that they use to soften the pressure directly on the crown. I have to say, ergonomically, this is much more effective to have weight directly a top the spine than to have it all weighing on the back the way the "backpackers" do around here. I have taken a lesson and am carrying my massage table around on my head.

On my way home...

Where is home, exactly?
Home is an internal state of being. It's a space that I get to keep clear inside myself which allows me to channel the appropriate energy in any given moment. It allows me to love myself and my body. Its the feeling of being comfortable and relaxed no matter the external circumstance.
I may already BE home. This is something I'm exploring as I make my way between Nicaragua and Guatemala.
Over the past two months, Inanitah has been such a harbor of love and safety and peace for me.
I left this morning on the 11 a.m bus. I won't recount the past few days too much except to say that I have discovered something in myself that is new and bursting forth to be seen. It is the desire to explore conflict resolution or peace making as a profession. If anyone knows anything about this, please write to me. I have intentions of taking a training in NVC (non-violent communication) this September. www.nvc.org.
Anyway, I have been traveling, bus/car/boat/bus to Managua and now am in a mall across from the King Quality station, where I will get on the bus to leave at 2:30 a.m. I have been at the mall since about 4:30 p.m and it's now 7:30. I have had chinese food, coffee, and ice cream, all for the first time in 2 months. I have bought a book for the bus ride, Carolyn Myss' Sacred Contracts, a pen to journal on the bus ride, and spent an hour or so on the internet so far.
There is a movie ciniplex here, so I will go see the last movie of the night, which begins at 8:30 p.m. I think it's something about your mama and it's a comedy. Yes, I will probably eat popcorn too. It's a very strange thing to be here. A bit of culture shock. I feel very dirty as I have been living in a tent w/o shoes or mirrors for months now. It was very odd to see my reflection as I rode the escalator up to the top floor. Now I remember what I look like! I'm kinda cute.
I am going to leave here around 10 o'clock and go across the street to the King Quality station and wait outside on their porch until 1 a.m when they let people in to wait for the bus. It's kinda odd, I know, but I really couldn't bring myself to spend the $40 on a room and taxi when I was only going to be there for a few hours and I'm much more entertained in the mall here.
Anyway, the point I was trying to make earlier is that I'm feeling at peace still. I think I've carried some of the Inanitah magic with me! AND, my spanish is soooo much better! It's incredible to be able to create whole, fluid sentences that result in a meaningful exchange of some sort with another human being here. Wow! Satisfaction at last.
I am on my way to Guatemala to meet up w. my friend Dara in Antigua. Looking forward to feeling it there. Have heard lots of yummy goodness about Lake Atitlan!
More on the other side of the 2 day journey by bus. We stop in San Salvador for a night. Hopefully I will find a place w/ wifi and be able to post again about the trip. I'm feeling very curious.
xoxo
V

Bliss

I look up at the post sunset pale sky, clouds darkening, pink hues covering the distant horizon, and a little sliver of the moon, a magical cheshire cat smile beaming down brightly, emerging from the days of dark moon time. the volcano conception juts up incredibly full and beautiful with a cloud of smoke dancing around her head.
The evening comes quickly with each day is so full.
Simple things that make each day so beautiful like the dance between the lizard and the praying mantis on the temple floor. Or finding time this afternoon to stretch out and practice yoga for an hour after class. Blessings for each and every moment, consistently reminded to be grateful. Smiles and laughs and hugs all come so easily here.
I have traded in a VW Jetta for a pair of Tevas. I have traded in a cottage in Arden for a backpack and a tent. I have traded in a thriving business for the day to day flow of energy to feed myself. I have traded in closeness of my family for the closeness of strangers, who may stay strange, but quickly become like family.
I marvel at my life often. I have cultivated a witness, who values this space and time.
I can feel my future self softly reflecting back to these days at Inanitah and whispering:
"Soak it up, take it in. Feel the joy moving through your bones. Feel the fullness of your heart space. Be grateful for the ease and simplicity and lack of wanting and breathe deep, resting into this love of existence that you have found."
I bask in the mirror of this witness, since I live in a place with no literal mirrors, the words come through like a soothing balm, reminding me that a part of me is eternal and precious.

New Moon Taurus/Gemini : May 4, 2011

There is a slowness with the heat of the day today. I feel my mind spinning with the knowing that the deep tissue class starts tomorrow. Something I have been preparing, planning, and creating for weeks now. Nothing has exactly seemed to line up.
I think it's been a hard one to prepare for because I haven't been able to get clear about what it will be like. It has changed form about a million times in my mind, heart, and on the website. Now I feel that it will just be simple and flow easily and I cannot put any more energy into it until it happens. Let it go.
We had a beautiful Beltane party here this weekend and are going to have another ceremony tonight in the sweat lodge. I'm looking forward to this experience. I haven't sweat in a long time and the cleansing process will be good for me.
I am going to be in Guatemala in 2 weeks. It will be an interesting shift to be traveling again. I am feeling so ingrained and at home here at Inanitah. I'm going there to meet up with my friend Dara, whose coming down to study spanish. I may join her in her studies. We shall see how things line up.
New moon intentions: I intend for this upcoming course to be able to transmit the information and body of work clearly and effectively to my students and that they may receive it well. I am intending for the clarity and healing of all my relations. I am intending for peace, prosperity, and well-being for all my relations. A-ho Mitakuye Oyasin

meditation on trash

As Julia Butterfly Hill famously said, "When you throw something away, where is away?"
We are now in an age where we are so connected to everyone else on the planet that it is impossible for us to ignore the fact that what has been so-called trash for so long has been piling up in the backyards of those that cannot afford to pay to have it sent elsewhere. "Away" seems to be the landfills in Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua. The economically impoverished areas in every city in the United States. Natural areas that cannot defend for themselves against the piles of trash that accumulate every day, destroying her slowly and relentlessly.
Why? Because we are not yet conscious of how our actions are affecting the rest of the planet. Or we are addicted to disposable goods, having a hard time putting the brakes on.
Here I am living in a sustainable community where we are using as little pre-packaged goods as possible. We are conscious of our use of plastics and things that have a very short life span and do our best to eliminate these things from our daily use. We do not have a "trash pick-up". No one is going to come take it away.
So, each thing that we cannot compost or eat, we must look at as a resource. These things, if possible, will be reused or re-appropriated. Empty bottles as containers for new things. Old clothing as mulch for the garden. The wrappers of things that are brought into the community or things we cannot find a reuse for, are stuffed into plastic bottles and the bottles full of trash are then used for building houses. Cool, eh?
I was doing my best to go through our "resources" the other day, realizing that just dealing with the little bit of trash that a community of 15 or so conscious individuals has created over the past few weeks is more than we need to be creating. Then I thought of the amount of trash that is created when I live in the states!
I am meditating on waste and how to eliminate it from my life as much as possible. It's worthwhile to play this game. I am already noticing that I have declined buying a few things in the tienda that I would have otherwise gotten had I not been acutely aware of where each package ends up...in my own backyard.

One, by Mary Oliver

I have fallen in love with her work...

The mosquito is so small
it takes almost nothing to ruin it.
Each leaf, the same.
And the black ant, hurrying.
So many lives, so many fortunes!
Every morning, I walk softly and with forward glances
down to the ponds and through the pinewoods.
Mushrooms, even, have but a brief hour
before the slug creeps to the feast,
before the pine needles hustle down
under the bundles of harsh, beneficent rain.

How many, how many, how many
make up a world!
And then I think of that old idea: the singular
and the eternal.
One cup, in which everything is swirled
back to the color of the sea and sky.
Imagine it!

A shining cup, surely!
In the moment in which there is no wind
over your shoulder,
you stare down into it,
and there you are,
your own darling face, your own eyes.
And then the wind, not thinking of you, just passes by,
touching the ant, the mosquito, the leaf,
and you know what else!
How blue is the sea, how blue is the sky,
how blue and tiny and redeemable everything is, even you,
even your eyes, even your imagination.

Janey's visit to Panama

Above: Janey Does Panama! (view from cosco viejo)
Panama Canal, can you read what the cargo ship says? Wilmington, DE.
Above: Me and Einsteins head. Panama City.